Nations of the World Can’t Remember Signing Up to Teach Aggies How to Behave
Last Saturday, leaders from six continents put their minds together in a fruitless effort to determine how they ended up on the hook for teaching basic manners to Texas A&M University students.
“Honestly, I have no idea how this became our responsibility,” said French President Emmanuel Macron. ”We thought we had a pretty great re-opening plan until professors from Texas A&M started sending us a bunch of students who thought it was okay to swing on the subway handles and completely ignore all posted signage. Clearly, they expected us to teach them all about how to be respectful in a public setting. I guess we really dropped the ball on the messaging.”
Despite global pushback, Education Abroad has accelerated the number of students embarking on exchange and faculty-led international programs. Traveling students are required to complete an online training before departure. However, concerns have been raised that this training does not properly address that residents of foreign nations do not enjoy being treated rudely or hearing tourists talk super loud in crowded spaces. The professors organizing these study abroad programs have remained unfazed and doubled down on the importance of international experiences in making someone less of a selfish jerk.
“These opportunities are crucial to the development of our students,” said accounting professor Romeo Alvarez. “It’s important for them to see other cultures where people care about more than just themselves.”
—MSC ALITTLE

You’ve seen him, the phantom of the Memorial Student Center, lurking in the back of the lunch crowd. Perhaps you caught a glimpse of him darting in and out of various conference rooms. MSC ALITTLE is the CEO of overcommitment, and a sucker for any organization with a pithy acronym. His motives are a mystery. Clout chasing? Resume building? Maybe he just really likes the food at Rev’s. Whatever the case, we count ourselves lucky to be swept away to his lair in the basement, to be tutored in time management and seizing the day.